Recent Blog Posts

March 17, 2014 |

Getting What You Deserve

“You will never get what you deserve if you remain attached to what you are suppose to let go of”.  As I read this statement, my thought immediately went to relationships- as the “thing” one must let go  I am sure someone else would have considered other “things” as what needed to be let go:  derelict car, a broken down sail boat, a house needing repairs, outdated clothing, a cat!   Any number of things could have occurred to those who read that phrase, but for me, it spoke relationships. Daily there is news of a celebrity breaking up with the person they were so in love with just months ago. Nightly news reports...

January 6, 2014 |

Children Caught in the Middle

January is a big month for Rosalind Sedecca, creator of the Divorce Parent Support website.  How many of us were aware that January is the month with the highest number of divorces?  Certainly, not me.  I was awarded my divorce (first one) in the lovely month of May.  I can be glib about this piece of information, but there is nothing glib about what Rosalind wants to accomplish by bringing International Child Centered Divorce to the attention of parents.  Children are so often viewed as resilient, accepting, and, uninvolved in the process that ends their family unit.  The adults in the children’s lives are so entrenched in the process of the divorce; emotionally, financially,...

December 16, 2013 |

Kids are Resilient

“Kids are resilient.  My kids will be”ok”.  How many times did I hear these words from a parent going through a divorce or newly divorced? How easily these parents voiced those words. How, unprepared were they for the emotions, behaviors that often erupted from the same children they predicted would be “ok”. Disruptive, negative, inappropriate behaviors acted out by children who had never been a problem!   Not always did this situation happen, but, more often than not, it did.  Children who, previously, had no behavioral issues in school, no academic problems, socialization was good, all round good kids, were now creating havoc, disruption for the unprepared parent.This misbehaving child living under their roof...

September 24, 2013 |

True Love Sees the Heart

A few weeks ago, we were enjoying one of the lovely September days bestowed on us after the nasty, humid summer.   We had the company of another couple.  As we sat there, agreeing on the perfect day, good food, pleasure of our friendship we went from subject to subject. Topics shifted from grown children, to grandchildren,  to parents, and, then parents marriages.  Like us, this couple has been divorced, remarried (I forget, my husband is not like us- he is a first timer!).  As the children who are now looking out for parents, our role in their lives has changed.  We often find ourselves  their care takers.  This new role provides us with...

July 27, 2013 |

Looking Back -Moving Forward

I had the delightful experience this week of talking with Frank Love and Dr. Gayle on their show, Frank Relationships.  This is a dynamic, entertaining duo.  Prior to the show,Frank’s producer, had graciously, sent me a long list of questions so that I would be prepared for my interview.  The topic was near and dear to me, (as you probably have guessed!), Successful Second Marriages. I took the task of being prepared, very seriously, going over the producer’s  questions, writing notes, rereading my chapters.  Even as the author, there are details, conversations that you have to go back and review.  So when Frank called at 7:30am (yes am!), I was ready.   After getting down...

July 8, 2013 |

How Marriage is like a Box.

Unrealistically, many newly wed couples see their marriage as a fulfillment of what they had been desirous of in a relationship: security, companionship, a best friend, love forever. In reality, marriage is very much like an empty box waiting to be filled. When we send a gift box to a loved one, we chose carefully just the perfect items to go in the box. Likewise with a marriage, it is the two individuals who decide what will go into the box: faith, loyalty, commitment, trust, friendship, love everlasting. The couple learns as the marriage goes on what is necessary for the strength and endurance of the marriage- they learn quickly that many things are...

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